Why we don't do Santa

Why we don't do Santa

Santa is just part of the Christmas fun, isn’t he? We don’t resent having grown up with Santa in our homes. But when it came to our first Christmas as parents, we decided we wouldn’t be doing it. It’s a topic that gets discussed frequently enough and we know plenty of parents who also “don’t do Santa”. This is a post looking at some of the reasons behind our decision!

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Flourishing at home - we've done it!

Flourishing at home - we've done it!

So that's 31 days of flourishing at home DONE! Thank you all for the engagement during the month, it was great hearing how you do your laundry, stories of you sitting down with your husbands and chatting about your kids' personalities, and my favourite, clearing out medicines that went out of date in 2003! 

I've certainly found being intentional this year about flourishing has helped me think about where I'm not and that means I at least know what I'm aiming for. Hopefully this series has helped you do the same.

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Flourishing at home - when your child has special needs

Flourishing at home - when your child has special needs

I’m going to confess something. When we got our antenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome in my first pregnancy, I think I saw the baby as a bit of a project. I was willing to put the hard work in to ensuring he was able to get as far as possible in life. Not for my credit, but to ensure as many doors were open to him when he was older.

But then I realised I didn't need to. And we've been flourishing even more since that happened! 

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Flourishing at home - marriage

Flourishing at home - marriage

Our marriage is far from perfect. In fact, I’m certain there is no such thing as the perfect marriage. Yet we’ve managed to survive pretty well, if not actually flourish, most of the last almost ten years despite having some pretty rough times.

I mentioned earlier in the series that communication is one of those to-go classic pieces of marriage advice at hen parties. Things like “Make sure you keep communicating” and “Don’t go to bed on an argument”. Good tips (though sometimes I do just head off to bed without resolving something. I’m not great with conflict) but here are some things that I’ve found useful, which I’m hoping may be useful for others too…!

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Flourishing at home - the struggles

Flourishing at home - the struggles

We’re nearing the end of this series and yesterday in particular I felt like this has made me sound like I’ve got this whole stay at home mum thing together. I don’t. I really don’t.

In fact, the main reason for starting this blog was to encourage other mums who are struggling. So doing a whole series on our home flourishing has to end with some honest truths. I am struggling.

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Flourishing at home - consistency

Flourishing at home - consistency

Between daycare, being minded by extended family and then the fact children here start schooling so young, consistency is made more difficult as even if you’re consistent at home (though let’s face it, that’s the pipe dream, not the reality) you have all these different environments doing things slightly different. So how to keep your children's lives as consistent as you can?

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Flourishing at home - Respect

Flourishing at home - Respect

Once I googled “showing respect to your toddler” or something similar and was surprised that the most of the first page hits were actually about getting toddlers to show respect to us – by demanding good manners, establishing rules, celebrating diversity and not tolerating rudeness. All good things actually, but I wonder if maybe we aren’t going about that the wrong way round…children learn by watching and copying, and being respectful towards then, treating them with positivity, politeness and a sense of importance is surely the best way to show them how to be respectful themselves?

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Flourishing at home - communication

Flourishing at home - communication

When Daniel was only a tiny baby we spoke to him like he understood what we were saying. We’d talk to him at nappy changes about what we were doing or explained what doctors were going to do before various tests (blood tests, heart scans, hearing tests). One day, when he was much older, my mother said she’d found it unusual the way we explained everything to Daniel but she could see how it had really helped him and actually was a great way of communicating with babies.

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Flourishing at home - Discipline

Flourishing at home - Discipline

Eek. It's here. The biggie...This is always a sticky subject to get into. People can get very defensive about their discipline methods and can be judgmental of others not doing what they do. At both extremes of the severity spectrum!

I always think that if you have been intentional in your approach though, and know it is well reasoned and right for your family then you have no need to be defensive. I am confident that this is the way for our family to discipline our children. I do however try and discuss the whys of what we do AND the why nots of other discipline methods in order to help explain it to others who may have not thought through their approach. It’s not like I’m trying to convince everyone to do it ‘our’ way but instead provide a reasoned argument for those who may find it useful.

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